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I walk offstage, my mind in a blur, my heart racing. My legs are numb – rare for me, after I’ve danced. Stress floods my heart. I try to talk, but my voice comes out cracked… more like a whisper. “How’d you do?” I ask one of my Radiant sisters. “Oh, just horrible!” 

Yes, my friend. So did I.

Thankfully, our little incident occurred at dress rehearsal, not at show. This probably effected the physical and mental demise it did because this song {was} my favorite. I still love it, but my heart’s cry sings louder in this season of my life with “Make Me Over” by Natalie Grant… not so much {problem song} anymore. I still love the message – worship while we’re waiting. It’s beautiful. And yet I felt as though by dancing, I was sure to be distracting the audience from worshiping, not leading them.

My best friend let me borrow “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp – we didn’t have time to read it while she was here, so she was sweet and selfless and let me keep it for a few days. Ann is such a beautifully poetic writer… and her message is dear. The Lord uses gratitude to take us deeper into the mystery of His salvation. Gee – a month ago, salvation wouldn’t quite have struck me as a mystery. Then again, a month ago, I was struggling so terribly with discontentment, I couldn’t bear it.

Ann talks about the ten lepers Jesus healed. We all probably know how only one returned to thank Jesus… but remember what Jesus said? “Your faith has healed you.”

HEALED him? Jesus, the ungrateful lepers were healed too. What do you mean, healed?

The Greek word for healed {I think? Dear me, it’s too late} ends up meaning “fullness, complete”. Oh yes, the other nine lepers were physically healed. But this one guy who came and bowed in gratitude truly touched Jesus’ heart. This man was blessed in that he could enjoy Jesus’ salvation more freely. By thankfulness. In everything, everything, give thanks. 

Tomorrow, we’re going to have to dance our songs onstage. I’m privileged beyond belief to be able to lead worship in that way…

Yes Lord, I’m thankful. I’m thankful I get to dance with such precious girls – such wonderful, worshipful dancers. I’m thankful that You delight in my worship, even when my ankle gives way, I loose my balance. Father, You delight in ME. 

Teach us to see ourselves the way You do. I’ve been too ungrateful for too long – and I’ve wasted such lovely years of my life doing so. Continue to teach us thankfulness in the little things, and Lord, please continue to unravel the mysteries of Your peace and joy in each of our lives. Your thankfulness… the thankfulness Jesus had in His heart even when He died. The thankfulness that fills me with joy in You… not in my dance ability, not in my dreams. 

You, and You alone! ❤

3 Comments

  1. I wish I weren’t working so I could come to the show! Does it get recorded?

    • Me too :). It does get recorded… it comes out in August, and I can let you borrow it once we get it! Has your show happened already?
      (Somehow there’s this goofy copyright fee if we take our own videos. ??)

      How is work going for you? And just out of curiosity, are you going to teach ballet at UV next year? (I’m so convinced Lauren found out I’m gonnna be 15 and made the minimum teaching age 16. 😦 But I’ll worship while I’m waiting!)

      • Awesome! I’ll have to get it from you 🙂

        My show was last Sunday night (and went really well! I’ll have to post the dances I was in on Facebook)

        Work is going really well 🙂 I actually just got home from working.

        I will be teaching ballet at Urban Vision! 😀 You can still be my helper!!


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